{"product_id":"ask-a-ninja-presents-the-ninja-handbook-this-book-looks-forward-to-killing-you-soon-9780307405807","title":"Ask a Ninja Presents the Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon","description":"DEADLY NINJA WISDOM FOR THE NON-NINJA \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eCarefully consider the joy of your soft-headed ignorance before you begin to run, flip, and jump along the Ninja Path. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eAfter much debate and in a spirit of morbid amusement, the International Order of Ninjas has chosen to produce \u003ci\u003eThe Ninja Handbook\u003c\/i\u003e, the first-ever secret ninja training guide specifically designed for the non-ninja.\u003cbr\u003eMost non-ninjas who handle these delicate, deadly pages will die-probably in an elaborately horrific and painful manner. But whether your journey lasts five seconds or five days or (rather inconceivably) five years, all those who bravely take up this text and follow the tenets and trials laid out within will die knowing they were as ninja as they possibly could've been. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eFor the true of heart or the extremely lucky, this powerful and honorable manuscript contains such phenomenal ninja wisdom as: \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e-How to create and name your very own lethal ninja clan\u003cbr\u003e-The proper weapon to use when fighting a vampire pumpkin\u003cbr\u003e-Why clowns and robots are so dangerous on the Internet\u003cbr\u003e-Easy-to-follow charts showing when to slice and when to stab\u003cbr\u003e-How to execute such ultradeadly kicks as the Driving Miss Daisy\u003cbr\u003e-Why pretty much every ninja movie ever made sucks\u003cbr\u003e-How to make a shoggoth explode using well-placed foliage\u003cbr\u003e-What the heck a shoggoth is and why you'll need to make it explode\u003cbr\u003e-Death Aide certification\u003cbr\u003e-And much more ninjafied enlightenment on every shuriken-sharp page! \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eRemember: People do not take the Path, the Path takes people.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/b\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/sureshotbooks-com.myshopify.com\/search?type=product%2Carticle%2Cpage\u0026amp;q=AUTH-16156739\"\u003eDouglas Sarine\u003c\/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/sureshotbooks-com.myshopify.com\/search?type=product%2Carticle%2Cpage\u0026amp;q=AUTH-16606277\"\u003eKent Nichols\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/b\u003e Crown Publishing Group (NY)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePublished:\u003c\/b\u003e 09\/09\/2008\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePages:\u003c\/b\u003e 336\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBinding Type:\u003c\/b\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eWeight:\u003c\/b\u003e 0.53lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eSize:\u003c\/b\u003e 8.04h x 5.30w x 0.72d\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN13:\u003c\/b\u003e 9780307405807\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eISBN10:\u003c\/b\u003e 030740580X\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBISAC Categories:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/sureshotbooks-com.myshopify.com\/search?type=product%2Carticle%2Cpage\u0026amp;q=CAT-HUM\"\u003eHumor\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/sureshotbooks-com.myshopify.com\/search?type=product%2Carticle%2Cpage\u0026amp;q=BISAC-HUM013000\"\u003eTopic | Sports \u0026amp; Recreation\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/sureshotbooks-com.myshopify.com\/search?type=product%2Carticle%2Cpage\u0026amp;q=CAT-REF\"\u003eReference\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/sureshotbooks-com.myshopify.com\/search?type=product%2Carticle%2Cpage\u0026amp;q=BISAC-REF015000\"\u003ePersonal \u0026amp; Practical Guides\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/sureshotbooks-com.myshopify.com\/search?type=product%2Carticle%2Cpage\u0026amp;q=CAT-HUM\"\u003eHumor\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/sureshotbooks-com.myshopify.com\/search?type=product%2Carticle%2Cpage\u0026amp;q=BISAC-HUM007000\"\u003eForm | Parodies\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eAbout the Author\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eText painfully transcribed by DOUGLAS SARINE and KENT NICHOLS, the award-winning \u003cbr\u003ecreators of the online series Ask A Ninja.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Crown Publishing Group (NY)","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48459887608045,"sku":"9780307405807","price":21.33,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0550\/8097\/6621\/files\/img_b5b5333e-3a41-4d5d-abb6-07d291472469.jpg?v=1753652339","url":"https:\/\/sureshotbooks.com\/products\/ask-a-ninja-presents-the-ninja-handbook-this-book-looks-forward-to-killing-you-soon-9780307405807","provider":"SureShot Books Publishing LLC","version":"1.0","type":"link"}